I read these words in the 2nd Letter to Timothy this week:
“Again, I say, do not get involved in foolish, ignorant arguments that only start fights. The Lord’s servants must not quarrel but must be kind to everyone.” (2 Timothy 22:23-24a) NRSV
Those words pricked my heart.
(Let me explain what I mean by “pricked my heart.” It’s much like getting a splinter in my finger. This BIG hurt happens when this tiny little piece of wood punctures my tough epidermis. I scream “ouch”; stop what I’m doing and focus all of my attention on what is now a sore spot.)
So, here’s why these words pricked my heart. I consider myself to be a kind person. I can honestly say that I attempt to treat everyone with kindness. But the word translated in 2 Timothy 2:24 as “kindness” is the Greek word “epios” which means “gentle & mild.”
OUCH! I’m not always gentle and mild.
I’m especially not gentle and mild when someone disagrees with me; particularly when they disagree forcefully. And I’ve been known to escalate those types of exchanges into full blown arguments. I end up in a “quarrel” which is a foolish and ignorant argument.
How many times, after a heated quarrel and all of the energy that has been expended to “right the course” and “make amends,” did I wish that I had held my tongue and not engaged and escalated the argument in the first place.
Looking back, I realize I was foolish and ignorant.
But wait—there’s more. The later half of verse 24 goes like this:
“The Lord’s servant must be able to teach effectively
and be patient with difficult people.
They should gently teach those who oppose the truth.
Perhaps God will change those people’s hearts,
and they will believe the truth.” (2 Timothy 22:24a-25)
Stay with me, here.
I might have the truth. But, if I brow beat people with what I believe to be the truth, and want them to accept it so badly, that I engage in foolish and ignorant quarrels, they will not see the truth. Rather, they will be further blinded by my inability to exhibit gentleness and mildness (or kindness.)
It is through a gentle and mild spirit that we “effectively teach” others the truth. The word “effective” is powerful. I have taught many classes in my lifetime and many times during evaluation periods I came to realize that I was not very effective. Of course, sometimes a student for whatever reason is determined not to learn—but more times than not, the student is ready to learn IF the teacher is effective.
It takes a skillful teacher to be effective.
Paul, who we believe authored the letter to Timothy, is encouraging Timothy to be effective or skillful in his teaching of the good news of the gospel of Jesus Christ. And to be effective, the messenger must, at all times, behave in a certain manner. Why? Because, it’s not just WHAT we say, but how we say it.
Here’s the power-packed sentence. Are you ready for it? Proclaiming the “truth” without exhibiting the transformative power of the truth in our lives only proves us to be hypocrites.
Okay, time for a little confession. (’cause confession is good for the soul, right?)
Too many times I have verbally blasted a friend or foe on social media with words that were unkind and anything but gentle. The words, while I believe them to be true, only infuriated the hearer, escalated the conversation to quarrel status, shut down their ability to hear anything I was saying and made me look like a fool. We both dug in our proverbial heels and in the end, I harmed the truth and disgraced the gospel of the good news which I profess to be alive in my life.
So, while Paul may have written those words to his friend Timothy 2,000 year ago, I am confident they are timely and appropriate for me, today, in this crazy and highly polarized world in which I live. “Again, I say, Ken, don’t get involved in foolish, ignorant arguments that only start fights. Rather, you as a bond-servant of Jesus Christ must not quarrel. Rather, you must treat EVERYONE with gentleness. That way you can be patient with difficult people and teach them effectively. And who knows, then maybe they’ll hear what you’re saying and God will change their hearts. After all, it’s not your place to change their hearts. That’s something only God can do.”
It begs the question, are we good messengers of the message?